Have you ever felt that being a Christian is like a second job? That you have to be perfect or else you will feel like you messed up big time? Well I know I have. Ever since I have been saved, I have been trying my hardest to do what is right in God’s eyes. I would get so wrapped up in the right and wrong that I would feel useless, damaged, and never good enough to keep up with what God commands of us as His people.
Ever since I started college in September of 2012, I have felt like the biggest disgrace to the Kingdom of God, because I would fail to keep all of His commands time and time again. I would go to bed at night feeling like a hypocrite, especially since I was going to college for youth ministry. Day after day for years I would think about dropping out, and just going home because of this problem in my life. But, as I was approaching the end of my second year of college in April 2014, I finally realized that it is a problem of the heart. I came across a few passages of the Bible as I was reading for one of my ministry courses Romans 6:23, ”For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” As well as John 13:34-35, ”A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
I came to realize that day that I was acting like the Pharisees. All I cared about was my works, when Ephesians 2:8-9 clearly states that it is grace through faith that we are saved, and not by works alone.
Sometimes it is hard to come to terms with who we are as a sinner. We feel as though, because we are Christians, we are supposed to be perfect now and never sin again another day in our lives. But I want to challenge you to try your best, lean on God, pray often, and with a servant’s heart, and love others just as much as God has loved you (which considering Jesus died and rose again for our salvation, is an incredible amount).